Girls! The Results of the ‘Buying-Geezers-Clothes’ Survey!

21st November 2008

Girls! Menswear Shopping Advice - What To Buy The Geezer In Your Life! Christmas is coming, maybe a birthday, an aniversary or you cheated on him with his best mate…whatever the reason for you to be buying mens clothes, here’s some help.

At SmartGeezer we don’t just make any old stuff up, seriously, it may look like it but it’s all based on the most rigorous scientific research.

We posed the regular, esteemed clientelle of SmartGeezer a 10 question survey to garner their habits and opinions on receiving clothes as presents.

Here’s what 102 geezers came back with along with some outstanding analysis and conclusions from yours truly:


OK, so relax. The most important thing is spending time with family, so as long as you’re there in the room when he opens up your present, it doesn’t matter if it’s a load of rubbish. Maybe make sure he’s had a few drinks and there’s a few more lined up and you’ll be in his good books no matter what.



Oops, so don’t relax too much. Over half of geezers polled reckoned they’d received some right old rubbish. Stay calm princess, all is not lost, keep reading.



So there maybe some correlation with the above question. Some fine fillies may not actually be listening to what their geezer is telling them. Never! I don’t believe a word of it! Women hang on our every word! :)



Some good news girls, 75% of geezers think their woman has good taste. So you’ve done the hard work, now you just have to apply it to the opposite gender. As for the other 25%, only be worried if you haven’t been unconscious in a recording studio in the past 6 months.



OK, so girls are not only good at buying gifts but they have taken the leap of faith into the fragile sartorial quagmire. However, 11% of you haven’t and your geezer is aching to get some free gear!



I thought this maybe a fear shared by my fellow geezerkind, but evidently not. Well 17% of them are but they probably need controlling anyway, so don’t worry about this girls. As you were.



So here is the fine line between question 6 and forcibly imposing something on your geezer without any prior interest, approval or vague alluding to. Glacial change is the key here. OK, you may want him to dress preppy and have that greased down side parting, but he ain’t going to be comfortable with it until at least 2046. On the other hand, 44% of geezers would only raise an eyebrow if it was covered in old man’s piss.



I can’t really imagine any girl buying their geezer vouchers but don’t fear the plainess and practicality of such an item, it’s what were all about. If this is for a non-love interest geezer such as a friend, brother, father, co-worker then this maybe the quick, easy, down and dirty solution to give you more time reading Heat or whatever you lot do.



You’ve got options ladies. When was the last time the geezer in your life bought fresh undies? Double whatever he tells you, if he pauses for even a split second, triple it. Horrifying isn’t it? This present is not only a gift from you to him, but also from you to you. If he’s a boxers man, then remember question 7, don’t go all poxy on him and get tighty whities, stick with what he already wears. Same with belts, socks and all those accessory items – your female brain will shirk on the sheer usefulness and mundaneness of buying such items but us geezers use something called ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ to assess gifts. I would try to explain it to you but it’s like the ‘offside rule’. When he opens up a 4 pack of fresh boxers and says “Thanks darling, I really needed them”, that’s the equivalent of a bird saying, “OMG! OMG! OMG! A limited edition, autographed Marc Jacobs handbag! OMG! OMG!



That old saying about ‘What’s the worse that could happen?’ kinda comes in useful here. 43% of geezers would not cause a scene but would give you the truth the following day, that’s got to be the best option if you don’t like something, right? OK, another 20% of SmartGeezer geezers would be stoking the fires of an inner ire, waiting for the best moment to unleash it, forget them ladies! Ply them with more drink and food and blame the poor choices on one of your friends, that’s what they’re there for, right?


That’s the hard facts and analysis out the way but you want some hard and fast tips to arm yourself with so you don’t actually have to think about this whole beastly affair, right? Come back Monday when we’ll have some tips for you.

If anyone has their own conclusions to draw from this ground breaking study, then feel free to comment below. All analysis welcome!

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